Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Quick update

It's been a while since I last updated. Life has been realllly busy! Who knew babies required so much work and attention? Lets see where do I start...... The first week postpartum was absolutely horrific. Full of crying and confusion.  I did the crying most of the crying fyi....  My self esteem was at an all time low. I felt uber fat b/c despite just giving birth to this 6.6 oz miracle I still looked 5 months pregnant. And of course people, more specifically my darling parents made sure to mention it to me every chance they got. My hair was a wreck, my skin was dry, my brows needed to be done, just awful. After being in a funk for the first few days I decided something needed to be done so I got my hair done which gave me an instant boost. I exfoliated my skin and got my brows done and bam! I was a MILF!

No one ever tells you what to expect or even what to do after the baby arrives. I had no idea what to do with myself. All he did was sleep so I spent my time pumping milk round the clock. If I didn't feel fat already my milk producing abiities had me feeling like a cow! Mooo! But since he wasnt latching properly and i felt like if i continued to put him on my boob my nipples would fall off this neded to be done. I was so disapponted though. I really wanted to exclusively breastfeed but atleast i was producing an enormous amout of milk so I didnt have to supplement with formula however the pumping aroud the clock was starting to wear on me.

Oh and those crying spells? ugh! I cried for everything..... Atleast once a day. Anytime something seemed off with the baby, tears, anytime someone looked at me funny, tears. It was disgusting and I wanted to punch myself in the face! I have never been a cryer and I wasnt about to start now! Thank god after about a week that tapered off. Aside from that my recovery has been going well. I lost all my pregnancy weight and more, so I'm now smaller than I was before I got pregnant. I do howeer want to start working out. All of my muscle tone seems to have gone away somehow.

This baby has seemed to have brought a lot of my friendships/relationships closer. For that I am thankful! My son is gorgeous and healthy. I can't even remember life before him and it hasn't even been that long.  I finally go back to work in about 3 weeks and I have no idea how tat's going to work. Not sure I want to although I'm not sure it's an option..... I'm gonna miss my little guy!

Until next time........